


Memory Lane

by angstyauthor (wedontwritelemons)



Series: Janis & Damian fics [3]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Bullying, Divorced parents, Emotional Hurt, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Not today, Unaccepting Parents, Wordcount: Over 10.000, before storyline, damian gives great hugs, janis just needs a hug, maybe one day - Freeform, parts from musical and movie, spelling errors i cant be bothered to fix, the whole angsty deal, we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22828285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/angstyauthor
Summary: Sometimes the best relationships come out of the worst of situations.Or: Cady didn't truly know what she was getting herself into when she asked Janis and Damian how the met and became so close.FINISHED <3lmao i have to go through and fix spelling errors i was too lazy to fix before, don't read...this fic is a mess
Relationships: Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian
Series: Janis & Damian fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779616
Comments: 30
Kudos: 29





	1. Memories

__

“You know, after everything we have been though, I still don’t know much about your past. Like how two absolute soulmates got to becoming such good friends.”

“It's quite the long story my dear, eight grade though eleventh grade? It's a wild ride. Are you sure you’re down? I mean, me and Janis will gladly narrate it, I mean we did such a good job telling your story.” 

“There are some things even I wish I didn't know about me. Can we not?” 

“Come on Janis it will be fun! Like memory lane! We can share our story with our lovely Cady!” 

“Something tells me I will very much regret this.” 

“Pleaseee Janis? I wanna know!” 

“Alright then. Damian, get the snacks and Cady, buckles up. It's a long ride but I’ll start.” 


	2. EIGHT GRADE; SEMESTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”I hated eighth grade.”  
> “And for good reason.”

_“Ya know, Eighth grade was both the worst and best time of my life. Yeah, I met Damian, but I also- you already know that part.”_

_”Right.”_

_”I hated eighth grade.”_

_“And for good reason.”_

_“I had told Regina that I thought I might be into girls. At the time, she was my friend. I thought that was something I could tell her without worrying about her telling other people. I_ obviously _was wrong._

_I don’t think anything could have prepared me for when I saw the words written on my locker. That was the day that I lost all my old friends, but it was also the day I found my best friend.”_

**EIGHT GRADE; SEMESTER TWO.**

**SOME TIME IN MARCH- JANIS** (I don't know when it actually happens pretend its march.)

The words on the locker glared at me, like they were daring me to deny it. _SPACE DYKE._ Who would do this? Deep down I knew in my gut who, but I didn’t want to believe it. Regina wouldn't…. Would she? My chest tightened as my mind raced a mile a minute. It was getting harder to breath and I couldn’t tell what was suffocating me- myself, or the crowd forming, all of them laughing and pointing, whispering and taking photos.

That's when I saw her in the crowd, staring at me and my locker like it was some huge accomplishment of hers, to ruin my life. Regina stood at the back of the crowd, a smug grin on her face. I wanted to ask her, “Why?” “I thought we were friends?” But I didn’t. I stood there struggling for air like an idiot, as breathing got harder and harder. 

I broke when I watched her whisper to Gretchen, then pull out her phone, and start recording. I needed to get out of there. I pushed through the crowd and into the nearest girls bathroom I could find. The people teasing me didn’t follow, they continued taking pictures of my locker, or shouting after me. 

I had ran into the furthest stall from the door and pushed myself into the corner. It was the stall with the lock that never quite worked right, but I didn’t care. I needed to be away from the crowd. I was trying to get my breathing in check- which was being proven difficult- when I heard somebody walk into the bathroom. I couldn't hear who it was over the sound of my heart pounding and my incositiant breaths, but I didn’t care. As long as she didn’t open my stall or call me space dyke. 

_“I don’t fully remember this part, my brain couldn’t concentrate on anything. Dam, wanna fill in the gaps?”_

_“Of course love. I wasn’t part of the crowd, but I was walking past. I didn’t know what was going on, I couldn't make out what anyone was saying, but I remember seeing you through a gap in the crowd, staring at you locker, those words in big letters. I was sick to my stomach and I didn’t even know you at the time, apart from you being a plastic. I don't think I made the connection at the time though. When you ran off towards the bathrooms I knew I should check up on you. I was the shy kid and only one who was openly gay at the time, so I never really stepped out of my way like that- but somthing in my gut told me to follow you._

_So I did, I went into the bathroom, not caring that it was a girls only, and I heard you crying softly in the last stall. I went to knock on the door but it just swung open instead. I’ll never forget the way you were culled in the corner, your knees pulled up to your chin, your- at the time- blonde hair plastered across your face from the tears, it broke my heart. You looked scared to see me, like I was going to hurt you. I had walked you out of the school so your parents could pick you up, but I never learned your name or got any way to contact you.”_

_”I remember that yeah. You probably figured out who I was fast because of the rumors though.”_

_“Yeah.”_

When I got home, my parents didn’t ask me about it or try to force any information out of me. I spent the rest of the day in my room, not touching any food, and the day after too. I refused to leave my room until Saturday, and that was to grab ice cream and mope. I didn’t cry about it after that school day. It was easier for me to become numb to the situation. Scrolling though the social media Regina made me create, only to read comments Regina made other people post. Kinda ironic. 

”Janis?” My mom waited for three days to check up on me. To even see if I was still alive. “I’m going to the store, want to come with? Its food shopping.”

“Not really mom, sorry.” 

“Please? We don’t have to talk about what happened. Not yet. But I don't like the idea of you home alone right now. Your father won't be home from work until later. Please come help me? You can get whatever snacks you want.” 

I groaned and rolled over off my bed and looked in the mirror. My hair was disheveled and there was no color in my face, the blonde hair making me look more washed out then normal. I only bothered to change my shirt and put my hair into a low messy bun. The closet full of pink sweaters and tight dresses haunted me. It was never my style, not that I really knew what my style would be. I had been plastic for so long.

I met my mom by the front door and she smiled at me. “Hey Sweetie. Got any food in mind that you want?”

”We ran out of ice cream yesterday.” I say shifting awkwardly. It’s not that I don't like hanging out with my mom, I was scared of running into anyone I knew from school. Mom nodded and we walked to the car and drove in silence. No radio, no talking, nothing. I didn’t mind though, I would probably start crying if we talked about _it_.

When we got to the store I wandered away from my mom to the ice cream aisle, keeping my head down to stop from being seen. It didn’t work.

”Hey there, _Space Dyke_.” Some girls from my grade said as they walked past, candy in their arms. I could feel tears build up in my eyes as I walked into the isle, now I was staring directly at the ground and not paying attention to where I was going, _dont cry, don't cry._

I bumped into somebody in front of me and started to fall backwards a bit before they grabbed my arms. “I’m so sorry- I wasn't looking, that's my bad I-”

”Hey, it's okay! It was just a small run in.” It was a boy with short brown hair and blue eyes, about my height. He was still holding onto me but his grip was loose and it wasn't weird, unlike when somebody else from school gave me a hug, or when Regina wrapped her arm around me, this was...nice. He was my age, I knew I recognized him from somewhere but I couldn’t put my finger on it.“Janis right?”

The boy from the bathroom. He helped me to the front office. _Oh_ “If you’re going to call me space dyke just get it over with.” I say stepping away from him. “I’m just here for ice cream.”

The boy looked like I had just slapped him in the face and spit in his eye. “I would never- why would you think that I would do that!”

”You’re the only person who seems to feel that way.” I open one of the freezers and pull out a container of chocolate ice cream.

The boy is silent for a bit before holding his hand out for me to shake. “I’m Damian, Damian Hubbard. Your local gay and broadway enthusiest.” I froze as I put a name to a face. Regina always talked about Damian, how he came out last year and is the only open gay at the school. She would joke about using him as a GBF, but I always told her that was cruel.

I shook Damian’s hand with a smile. “I’m Janis Sarkisian, but you probably already know that. Regina’s ex best friend.”

Damian walked around me and grabbed his own ice cream. “I’m sure you’re more than that Janis. I’m here with my mom but if you want we can follow her around the store and talk?”

I smiled. “I’m with my mom too actually, but I would love to hang out. Can I find her and give her my ice cream first?” I had known this Damian kid for all of three minutes, but it was something about his friendliness that told me I could trust him. 

“Let's go find your mom!” 

**APRIL- JANIS**

Damian sucked in a breath from where he sat on the edge of my bed. “The rest of the school year Jan?”

I nodded. “It's only three months. I’ll be back for highschool. I think.” Damian nodded. “You see me in school! I’m a mess! I keep getting shoved in the hall, everything I see Regina I freak out, and I keep getting called space dyke! Getting homeschooled seems like the best option right now I guess.”

”I’m gonna miss you.” Damian said coming closer to me and pulling me into a hug.

”I’m not dead Damian,” I say laughing. “We can still hang out and see each other all the time. I just won't be in school.” I pressed my ear into his shirt and listened to his heart beating. “I’m gonna miss you too though, if it makes you feel better.”

”That does actually.” He laughed resting his chin on my head. “Just know I will be stopping by everyday.”

_Damian and I clicked instantly, and spent all our spare time hanging out. Neither of our parents complained though, it was better than both of us locked in our rooms being sad._

“Hey,” Damian got up and walked over to my desk, and I fell back into the pile of pillows behind me. “Did you paint this?” He pointed to a painting I left drying.

I looked over and smiled. “Yeah, art therapy has been helping, it makes me feel a lot better.”

”Love, you are extremely talented!” Damian said turning back to me. “Show me more.”

”What?”

”Don't think I haven’t noticed your sketchbook lying around here. Where is it?”

”Oh, it's somewhere.” I glance around at my room, only just now realizing how messy it is. “I think it might be....”

Damian picks a tshirt off the floor and throws it into the laundry hamper. “We could find it if we cleaned!”

”Dam, I don't expect you to clean my room with me, you can just sit down if you want.” I say pointing to the chair by my desk. I start to make my bed when he walks over to help.

”Nonsense. Of course I would help you.”

**JUNE- DAMIAN**

“Dam?”

My heart broke at the sight of the girl before me. Janis had texted me asking if she could come over when I got out of school. I of course said yes, but I didn’t know she was so upset. 

”Janis-” I quickly walked over to the entrance to my room where Janis hovered awkwardly, like walking in would get her in trouble or something. “What's wrong?”

The second I asked her, it was like the walls holding herself together broke. Janis looked at the ground as a sob slipped out.”I- I look plastic. And I- I don't wanna- I hate it- I hate _me_. I-”

”Woah! Woah.” I pull Janis into a hug, which she immediately accepts. “Where is this coming from girly?”

”I went to get dressed this morning, but all I could find in my closet was pink and girlie and Regina approved. It's all skirts and crop tops and skinny jeans and heels and I just-” She cuts herself off. “I dunno. Its stupid.” She wasn’t crying anymore, but I kept her tight in a hug. 

”Thats not stupid Jan, here.” I let go of her and lead her to my closet, pulling the doors open. “Want a sweatshirt? It will be a little baggy on you but it's not pink and I guarantee Regina _would not_ approve.” It was a plain black hoodie with no design or decal. I never really wore it often anyway.

”You sure?” Janis asked, taking the hoodie into her hands. “There is no catch? Like now you get to take two of my clothes in exchange, or I have to buy you a new one?”

I froze. _Is this what Regina made Janis do?_ “No babe, no catch. Just you and your new sweatshirt.” I say with a small smile that does nothing to compare to the wide grin that spreads across Janis’ face.

”Dam, you’re the best. Thank you so much.” She slipped the sweatshirt over her head with a laugh. I bought my sweatshirts intentionally baggy, but on Janis- it was like a sea on fabric. You almost couldn't even see the girl wearing it. 

”Anything for you Jan. I love you.”

I know I said that a lot, but I meant it. Janis deserves the world, and I hated that other people couldn’t see that as well. I glanced at my wall where Janis’ art was slowly replacing the playbills I had hanging. Not that I minded, I loved every piece Janis gave me. From the doodle on the mcdonald's napkin to the full sized canvas painting of us, I kept them all. And I loved them. I loved _her._


	3. SUMMER BEFORE FRESHMAN YEAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Summer before freshman year, yuck.”  
> ”Was it bad?”  
> "No just, a lot of change.”  
> ”Lets just say, Janis was definitely not plastic time September came around.”

_”Summer before freshman year, yuck.”_

_”Was it bad?”_

_”No just, a lot of change.”_

_”Lets just say, Janis was definitely not plastic time September came around.”_

_“Oh?_

_”Oh? is exactly it, I’ll start this time.”_

**JUNE- DAMIAN** -tw: D-slur-

If you asked me, a middle school graduation ceremony was not only unnecessary, but annoying. I was supposed to meet Janis at her house later and I couldn’t wait. This was my last day of school and the official start of summer, and I was _so_ ready to spend it with Jan. 

They finally reached the ‘H’s and there were only a few of us, so it was almost my time to go up. My mind raced to different scenarios where I fell off the stage or something, because when you’re about to walk the stage in front of your entire class and their parents, what else do you do?”

”Damian Hubbard.” The principle said looking at me. I forced a smile and started to walk across the stage.

”Yeah Damian! I love you!” A voice said from the crowd. I looked to the sound of the voice to see Janis sitting next to my mom, waving wildly. The same Janis who had a panic attack even thinking of coming back to school, sitting there, supporting me.

I grabbed my certificate from my principal and shook his hand, a genuine smile now on my face. Everyone clapped as I sat back down, but I could hear Janis and my mom cheer louder then all of them.

-

”Janis!” I say running up to her once the ceremony was _finally_ over.”You came? Why?”

”To support you, dork.''She said with a shrug. She was wearing ripped skinny jeans, black vans and the sweatshirt I gave her. “You think I would miss this?”

”It's only middle school graduation.” I say pulling her into a hug. “Thank you though.”

”I’m going to give you two your space, meet me in the car when you are ready to go, I’m gonna drop both of you right off at Janis’ okay?” Mom said, sensing that we may be needed some time alone. She left without waiting for an answer.

”Are you okay?” I asked the second mom out of ear shot. 

Janis hesitates before answering, her eyes darting around at everyone walking past. “I guess I’ve been in better situations. But- I really wanted to come for you, so I can manage.” 

I placed a kiss on Janis forehead without really thinking about it, it was kinda of a natural thing at this point. “Your the bes-” I started to say before somebody cut me off.

”Wow! I though Janis was Space Dyke but it turns out she faked being lesbian for attention! Look at that _whore_ with her boyfriend!”

Janis and I both turn around to see Regina George pointing at us, Gretchen and Karen at her sides.

”Damian right? Aren’t you the _gay_ kid?” Regina said it like it was poison on her tongue. I was vaguely aware of Janis trembling beside me as I pulled her closer to me. “If Janis is forcing herself on you or whatever like a psychopath, it's okay to speak up. I mean, it's obvious she is because _nobody_ would willingly want to hang out with her. You don't need to feel forced to date her.”

Regina kept talking but the words were not registering in my head. All I could focus on was Janis trying not to cry, and the fact that Regina _just kept talking._ Words just kept coming, and by the buzzing noise of the crowd laughing they weren’t nice things. “Hey Regina?” I asked, cutting off her Janis rant. “I know it's hard to believe, but people can not be cold hearted bitches and show affection. Platonic or romantic. I’m extremely happy to have Janis as my friend. _My best friend._ So please leave us alone.” I placed my hand on Janis lower back, guiding her away from the crowd, knowing she wouldn’t follow if I just started walking. “Thanks.” I said turning back to Regina, throwing in the bitter after thought.

When we were in the parking lot and far enough away from the crowd, I looked at Janis. She was zoned out looking at the ground, and I didnt need to be her best friend to tell she was replaying everything Regina said in her head, believing it.

I pulled us over to a bench and sat Janis down, I crouched in front of her and frowned. Her face was streaked with silent tears and there was no personality behind her eyes. She looked pretty peaceful dissociated, but I knew her mind was at war. “Hey Jan? It's Damian. You’re okay, Regina isn’t here anymore, I’m gonna take you to my mom’s car and we’re gonna go to your place okay?”

No response. It was like she shut the whole world out.

I sigh, pulling her up and walking her to my mom's car. Janis lazily walked along with me and I tucked my arm around her, pulling her close. We got to my mom’s car and I sat in the backseat with her, shaking my head at my mom as if to say, _don't ask questions._ She just nodded and started to drive. I buckled Janis in and pulled her close to me, letting her head fall lightly on my shoulder. Her hair fell slightly in front of her eyes and I brushed it out of the way gently. “It's gonna be okay babe.”

**JULY-JANIS**

“Damian!” I slam the door to his room open, CVS bag in hand. Damian looks up casually, like he's bored of my daily entrance.

”What's in the bag love?”

”Hair dye.”

”What?”

”Black.”

”Well rip to my white sink, just your hair or are we going for a matching thing here?”

I look down sheepishly. “I only bought one bottle, but next time we will go full twin mode. I’ll even chop off all my hair to match your length.

”Love the energy here babe, but why black and why now?” Damian asked while tossing me an old shirt so I wouldn't stain mine.

”I don't even want to be reminded of being plastic, and the blond hair with highlights is a big reminder. Also, how are you so calm and willing to help me with this?”

Damian smiled. “As long as you aren't getting hurt or being illegal, I will gladly help you with anything you need.”

”Noted.” I say tossing him the bottle as I switch shirts.

 **AUGUST- JANIS** -tw: reference to cutting/pain inflicted scars-

We were at the lake, I know he saw them. I knew Damian was suspicious of the marks on my thighs for a while, but he never had solid proof of them before now. I was wearing shorts with conceler over the markings, but the water bottle spilt on my leg and my pants shifted up when I sat down-like pants do you fucking idiot- and he defitly saw.

_He saw them- he definitely hates me now. Who would want to be friends with such an unstable bitch,_

Me and Damian were sitting at the end of the dock, our feet submerged in the water, the warm sun on our backs. It was quiet, but I could almost feel Damian’s gaze burn though where my hands covered my thighs. I knew he wasn't going to bring it up first, at risk of upsetting me, I could see the worry eating away at Damian.

_You did this to him, that's your fault. Your only friend and you have him stressed over you. God look at you-”_

”Hey Janis, hey.” Damina’s voice was soft as he pulled my hand away from the thigh where I had been unconsciously scratching at it. I hadn't even noticed, but I could see the red nail lines showing up. “Janis.”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Damian, out of embarrassment or fear I upset it or whatever- I just couldn't do it. He grabbed my wrist gently and turned me so I was facing him. I brought my feet up as sat criss crossed facing Damian, but not making eye contact yet.

”Are you worried I’m mad or something?” His voice was soft, not pushy or accusatory. “Janis, look.”

He turned over his own wrist to reveal old scars, all faded to the point that you wouldn't see unless you were really looking. They had clearly been there for a while and healed amazingly.

”You-?”

I couldn't form a sentence, my mind was going to too many places at once. _Who hurt Damian until he felt the need to do that? Could I kill them without getting caught? How long? When? Why?_

”I felt alone. It was a while ago, but I didn’t know of any other way to stop the pain. I didn’t have anyone who was there for me, or cared. But Jan, I’m here for you, and I care. Don’t forget that okay?”

I nodded dully. “I try not to- they’re ugly and I hate them. I can't wear shorts or certain ripped jeans, I _wish_ I could stop.”

”But when it's late and night and your thoughts are too loud it's not that easy.” Damian finished for me.

”Yeah.”

”When you feel that way, you promise you’ll call me okay?” Damian asked.

I finally looked up at him. He looked so worried, so sincere. “Yeah, promise.” I said with a small smile. It was enough for Damian, he wrapped his arm around me and we faced the water again.

”You’re not alone.”

 **SEPTEMBER- DAMIAN** -tw: minor (MINOR) reference to cutting/pain inflicted scars-

I sat on Janis's bed as she flicked through clothes in her closet. “So tell me again what your so worried about for tomorrow?” I asked as she held up the eighth pair of black skinny jeans.

”Many things love, the fact that we don't have any classes together, I'll have to eat lunch on the toilet, and I CAN'T find a pair of pants that goes with this shirt and I really want to wear it! The only thing that matches are these short and,” Janis glanced at her legs. “Can’t do that.”

”Actually, I came prepared babe, this year will be nothing like last year because this year you have me. First off-” I hand Janis a package of fishnets with cool patterns, they looked like just a cool addition to the outfit, but I knew they would distract from the scars scattered over her legs perfectly. “Here.”

Janis took the packet and examined it, it took her awhile to figure out that it was. “Oh my god.” She breathed out softly. “Damian thank you!” She flung her arms around me, the package dropping to the bed. “I love you.”

”I love you two. And second, if I were to quote my mom, she always said _baby girl, don't ever eat lunch on the john._ ”

”Your mother called you baby girl?

”I’m trying to be supportive over here haha.” I say ignoring her question. “You won't be eating lunch alone in the bathroom because to solve your problems one and two, I had my schedule switched.”

“What?”Janis jumped up excitedly.

”Yeah! Both our mom’s called the school and in _light of last year's events_ ” I laughed awkwardly “They had no issue in putting us in the same classes. Except I have to study hall during your art class because I am not taking AP art, my love and generosity can only go so far.”

Janis laughed. “North Shore’s art program is a joke anyway, there's going to be like four kids. You can probably still go out in the art room anyway.” She sat next to me on the bed, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you Damian. Not just for this, but everything. I don't know where I would be without you right now.”

I rested my head on her shoulder, even though we were the same height when we met, there was no denying I was still a growing boy and Jani had stopped growing some time ago. Even sitting down at the lame level I slouched to make it easier for her. “I love you Janis, and I know you would do the same for me.”

”That's a given.” She laughed.


	4. FRESHMAN YEAR; SEMESTER ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between sick days, hall ways, and just being two open gays, its safe to say the begining of freshman year wasy rocky.

_”Ugh, the first half of freshman year. Where do I fucking begin.”_

_”Janis don't be dramatic, it was definitely an upgrade from the year before.”_

_”Right, I- for the most part- shed my space dyke nickname and donned a new label, art freak.”_

_”But not you shared that title with me, so how bad could it really have been?”_

_”I suppose it does beat a slur…”_

_”I love you both but I don't have all day, spill on what happened! Regina wants to be at the mall with her later today- Janis don't look at me like that!”_

**SEPTEMBER- JANIS**

I was oldy calm as I got ready for school. This year would be different, I could tell. Maybe it was because I was going to high school, maybe it was because I was no longer plastic, or maybe it was because the jokes have died down in the past two months, maybe it was because Damian would be there. Probably the last option.

I hummed, pulling my black hair into a messy ponytail. I was wearing the outfit Damian helped me pick out the night before, complete with the tights. I messed around with my appearance a lot over the summer. Not being plastic gave me options other than pink and skimpy. I don't know what you would call the style I had settled for, but I was comfy and both me and Damian agreed that it suited me quite well, so I was happy. Sure, I got stares in public for wearing a heavy jean jacket in the middle of summer, but as the vacation weeks went by, I was inside, painting little parts of the jacket- making it unique, and mine. 

My phone rang from my bedside table where it was plugged in. I scooped it up and picked up without looking, nobody else would be calling me at six A.M. other then-

”Damian, What's up?”

He laughed on the other end of the call. “You seem very chirpy over there, what have you done with my Janis?” He continued talking without letting me make a comeback. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t sleep through your alarm. This is after all- the start to a new era. You and me, we have found where we belong, with each other. So let's not let the negativity get us down this year!”

”Woah, I might be optimistic this morning, but it is _way_ too early for your pep talks babe.” I say, putting the phone on speaker so I can brush my teeth. “Is your mom still driving me to school? It's no biggie if not.”

”Of course she is! We’ll be there in like, twenty. Now I've got to go love, I still need to get ready.”

”Tits.” I say though a mouth full of toothpaste. Spitting it out I pick up the phone again. “Alright Dam, see you soon. Love you.”

”Love you more.” He says before hanging up.

I walked into the living room and grabbed my backpack. Mom was already in the dining room eating before heading off to work. “No breakfast?” She asked. 

”Nah, might get sick with nerves.” I said. While I felt fine now in the comfort of my own house, there was no telling how I would feel when I pulled up to the school. 

”Alright.” Mom said with a smile. “Wear your jacket, it's chilly out this morning.” She said pointing to my short sleeves. “Tell Damian that too, I don't want either of you getting cold, god knows if one of you stays home sick the other won't even think of going to school.” 

I laughed. “Alright mom, I’ll text him now,” There was some truth to my mother's words. Now that I had Damian, I could imagine going without him. High school is gonna be hell either way, but anything felt better when Damian was pressed next to my side.

**OCTOBER- DAMIAN**

My door opened and I didnt even need to look up to see who it was. “Janis you should be at school.”

”Damian, you're sick and your mom has to go to work, I can miss one day.” She said sitting on the edge of my bed. “Want anything love?”

”The peace of mind knowing you're getting an education.” I said rolling over to face Janis.

Ignoring my remark, Janis placed her hand to my forehead. “You’re warm.”

”Jee, thanks doc.”

”Hey! Stop it with those quips. You sound like me and it's not a good look for you. Only one of us can be a sarcastic bitch if we want this relationship to work.” Janis rolled her eyes. “You want water?”

”Yeah.” I say, giving in. “And an aspirin?”

”I know where to look.” Janis said softly, brushing some hair out of my face. “Then it's right back to bed, I refuse to attend hell without you.”

”I can see that.”

**NOVEMBER- DAMIAN**

Walking down the halls was never fun. Even with Janis by my side it was something I never exactly jumped for joy about doing. I could tell Janis felt the same. This week had been especially bad, teasing picking up again for some reason. I found Janis in the bathroom trying not to cry after being called space dyke over and over and _over_ again. She tried not to worry me, knowing I wasn't any better off, but that just worried me more, knowing she was hurt and she wouldn't open up to me why.

The bell rang signaling the end of our last class before lunch. Janis grabbed her bag and glanced at me. “Ready?”

I throw my arm over her shoulder. “Ready.” We walk into the hallways, it's only a short walk from here to the cafeteria, but Regina was always at her locker by the cafe door. She never openly interacted with us, occasionally whispering something to Gretchen and Karen, but she left me and Jan alone for the most part.

I didn’t expect today to be any different.

But it was.

”Isn’t it weird that two supposedly gay kids of the opposite gender are always touchy and shit? You think they’re dating or something. What freaks.” Regina said slamming her locker shut as we passed. Her and her “possy” followed us into the cafe, and unfortunately shared the same lunch period as us.

Janis just shrugged and kept walking, grabbing my arm that was wrapped around her and pulled me along.

”Art Freaks!” Regina called after us and we made our way to the table.

”That's a new nickname.” I said flatly, sitting across from Janis.

”I dunno Dam, I kinda dig it. Its tits, definitely better than a space dyke.” Janis said, pulling out her sketchbook and flipping open to a new page.

”Look at you being all optimistic. I’m so proud. My art freak is all grown up.” I say with a laugh. 

**DECEMBER- JANIS**

“Jan my dear! It's Christmas eve!” Damian sings as he lets himself into my room.

”You're in a good mood.” I joke, putting the finishing touches onto my painting. “I kinda forgot what day it was, so your present is only drying now.” I say stepping away to admire my work.

”Oo!” Damian tosses his gift to me onto my bed lightly and looks at his gift eagerly. “Jan! It's amazing!”

It was a simple painting of the two of us, smiling ,like idiots. The photo I used as reference was one from over the summer of a late night sleepover when we ate ice cream and watched movies. In the bottom corner of the painting “Art Freaks” dripped slightly.

” _Love_ that we are owning up to the amazing nickname.” Damian hugged me. “Thank you Jan, it's amazing. Now, it's your turn to open a present.” He walked over to the bed and scooped up the gift he brought, handing it to me.

I opened it eagerly, finding the contents to be a new sketchbook and more paints. Just what I needed, Damian knew that. “Dam thank you so much!” I say placing the gifts down and throwing my arms around him.

”Of course Hon, I wanted to create something personal for you, but my talents only go so far, so instead I brought you stuff so you could create more.”

”I love it. Merry christmas.” I say softly, not moving from our hug.

”Merry Christmas, Jan.”


	5. FRESHMAN YEAR; SEMESTER TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halfway through part one i switched from 1st person to 3rd, dont know how but im to lazy to fix it, just roll with it kay?

_ “The second half of freshman year was, Damian how do I phrase it?” _

_ “Messy. Fucking awful. The  _ **_worst_ ** _.” _

_ “Jesus, okay. Cady, if you couldn't tell, the rest of freshman year wasn’t Damian’s best.” _

_ “But I still had Janis.” _

**FEBRUARY- JANIS**

“Hey Janis?” I look up from my painting to see my mom standing at my door. She looks upset but not at me. A general sadness just rests on her face.

“Yeah?”

“Get this room cleaned up, Damian is sleeping over.”

Right away, something feels wrong. It's Sunday night, we have school tomorrow. Why didn’t Damian text me himself? Why does mom look so upset? My room wasn’t that messy, Damian has seen it worse, who do I need to impress?

I don't voice my questions because Mom is already walking away. 

_ Rude _ .

Reluctantly I lower my paintbrush and begin scooping clothes off my floor and dumping them in my hamper. Dirty or clean it all goes in the bucket. 

I change out of my painting clothes and throw on the first sweatshirt I can find. It's the black one Damian gave me a year ago. It felt like more of a comfort blanket then a sweater, and I still wore it all the time.

Once my room was satisfactory for my mom, I made my way into the living room where my parents both sat. They spoke in hushed voices and froze when they saw me.

“Janis.” My mom starts.

“Why is Damian coming over on a school night?”

My mom just shook her head. “Something happened, just- be careful around him tonight okay?”

I felt an awful pit form in my stomach. “Is he alright? Is there a reason I should be walking on eggshells around my best friend? Are you going to tell me or keep speaking in riddles?”

My dad opened his mouth to answer but got cut off by the doorbell ringing.

“I’ll get it.” My mom said. She walked past me and opened the door before anyone could object.

Standing there was an upset looking Ms. Hubbard and a crying Damian. I knew better than to push for answers. 

“Janis, take Damian upstairs.” Mom said before anyone could speak.

“Okay.” I said. My voice was uncharacteristically softer than I intended for it to be. Damian walked in past my mom and followed me up the stairs in silence. He was normally good with emotions, one of our duo, but I could tell he needed me. I had to  _ try _ .

We reached my room and I took Damian’s things from his arms in silence. He made his way over to my bed and I tapped the door with my foot to close it. It swung a little harder than I expected, enough to make a loud noise, but not loud enough to me considered a slam. 

Damian jumped, his head swinging towards the sound.

“Just the door, sorry.” I said softly. Now I really knew something was wrong. If there was one thing about Dmaian I knew for sure, it was that he never was the jumpy kind. Even in horror movies, he doesn't flinch.

Damian just nodded and looked at the ground, finding the hard wood floor of my bedroom especially interesting. Really he was just looking anywhere other than me. 

I made my way over to the bed and sat next to him, keeping good distance between us. I had never seen Damian in such a funk before so I didn’t know what to do. Yeah I’ve seen him upset and crying, I’ve even had to help him through a couple panic attacks, but this was next level. While I was maybe a foot away we felt miles apart and I wasn;t sure if I should reach over and hug him or just let him be.

“It's my fault y'know.” He said suddenly. Damian still didn’t look up from the floor and meet my eyes, but he kept talking. “Dad is leaving. It’s my fault.”

I don’t know what to say, so I don't say anything, I just let him continue. 

“It’s been rough for years now. Ever since I came out. Mamma has always been so accepting and he- has just been an asshole. My parents want a divorce.” Damian’s shoulders were shaking as silent tears fell onto his jeans.

“Can-” Janis hesitated. “Can I hug you?” She knew Damian didn’t like being touched during panic attacks, but she also knew when he was stressed he loved hugs. She didn’t know where this fell.

“Please.” Damian said. It came out like a whimper and that was all it took for Janis to reach over the extrusion distance and pull him close. Janis repositioned herself so she was leaning with her back to the headboard and Damian nested in between her legs. It was awkward with how tall Damian had grown, but she made it work. 

Instantly the silent tears became full sobs as Damian cried freely. Janis just pet his head and let him cry, like he had done for her so many times before that.

**APRIL- DAMIAN**

I watched as my dad's car pulled away for the last time. He had finally come to pick up the last of his shit and now he was gone for good. 

Stepping away from my window, I looked to the girl sitting cross legged on my bed reading a book. 

“Y’know he was an asshole right?” She didn't look up from the book as she asked the question.

“Yeah.” I sigh sitting next to Janis.

“I’m so proud of you.” She placed a bookmark in and closed the work, looking up at me. “I won't pretend to know what it's like to have your parents get a divorce, but I can only imagine how hard it is. And I am so so proud.”

I smile, a genuine one. Haven't had many of those since January. “I love you Janis.”

“I love you too, dork.”

**MAY- JANIS**

Damian was getting better, moving on, growing stronger. We still had our fair share of nights where I played big spoon and just held him close, but I didn’t ming those. As long as he was okay. We were currently sitting in my basement watching some broadway bootlegs. Damian suddenly reached his arms around me, pulling me into his lap.

“Hello, I’m trying to watch the musical. I hope this Conner dude lives this time, I really like him.” I joke.

Damian just rests his chin on my shoulder, ignoring my comments. “Thank you Janis, for everything.”

“You would do the same for me.”

“I know.” Damian mumbles. “But I don’t know what I would do without you anyway.” His arms tighten around me and my heart breaks a little.

“I’m not going anywhere, love. I need you just as much as you need me. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.”

_ “I meant every word I said that night, and hey, I’m still here anyway.” _

_ “That's actually so sweet.” _

_ “Thank you, Cady. I do try sometimes.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah im updating this fic again


	6. SUMMER BEFORE SOPHMORE YEAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, that was just a rumor Regina spread.”  
> “No dad, I am into girls.”

_ “Janis, would you like to begin our summer before sophomore year journey?” _

_ “No comment” _

_ “Janis spent most of the summer at my house.” _

_ “It turns out dads just suck all around, not just Damian’s.” _

_ “My father, Mr. Heron, is a very nice man I’ll have you know.” _

_ “Then me and Janis just aren’t too lucky.” _

**JUNE- JANIS- TW: D-SLUR**

My family was eating dinner in silence, a rare occurrence. Dad looked like he had a lot on his mind he wanted to say, but he kept quiet. Another rare occurrence. Mom didn’t seem to notice, she just continued eating the shitty takeout chinese. 

“So,” I say, desperate to start a conversation and clear the awkward air that apparently only I could feel. 

“Something on your mind, Janis?” Dad asked. 

“No, but you look like you have something on yours.” I say, taking a bite of noodles.

“Are you and Damian together?”

_ What _ .

I choked on my food while simultaneously sputtering for an answer. “What dad?!” I coughed harshly. “No!”

“Janis don’t choke on your food.” Mom said, seemingly having nothing to contribute to the conversation. 

“I’m just saying. You two hang out  _ a lot _ . And you always seem to be having these sleepovers, I was just wondering.”

“Dad, we  _ sleep _ at sleepovers.”

“Listen, as long as you practice safe sex I done care-”

“No!” I shout covering my ears. “Damian is my best friend, don't even say that.”

Mom laughed looking at Dad. “Hon, they’re both gay, i thought you knew.”

“No, that was just a rumor Regina spread.”

I felt my blood run cold. This conversation probably wasn’t going to end well. “No dad, I am into girls.”

Dad shook his head. “No daughter of mine is a dyke. You’re just confused. Trama will do that to you. I’m sure it doesn't help that you spend all your time around other gays, if Damian actually is one.”

“Insulting me, dad- that's one thing. But dont fucking bring Damian into this.” I stood up, pushing my plate forward. “I’ve lost my appetite, good night.”

**JULY- JANIS**

I never told Damian about that conversation. With everything he went through because of his dad, I had no right to complain. At least my parents were still together. All my dad did was ignore me and belittle me. At least I still had one. 

Damian could definitely tell something was up though. We went over to his house more often, and never mine when my dad was home. Damian didn’t push for answers, so I did not attempt to give any. 

We were sitting in the park one day, on a bench together just enjoying eachothers company. It was an afternoon in July, and the sun was getting closer to the ground. I didn’t mine, that just meant it was cooler, and I wouldn't pass out from a heatstroke in my jacket. Damian placed his hand over where mine was resting on the bench, inter wringing our fingers.

“No wonder people think we’re dating.” I say, giving his hand a squeeze.

“The fact that people think I’m good enough for Janis Sarkisian is the highest form of complement.

I shook my head. “They have a pretty low bar then.”

“I wouldn't say so.” 

Our conversation was cut off by my phone ringing. I let go of Damians hand to pull it out of my pocket, revealing my Dad’s caller ID. 

_ Great _ .

Swiping over ‘accept’, I bring the phone up to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Janis are you with a  _ girl _ .”

Damian tries to stifle a laugh next to me. I smile.

“No dad, I’m not with a girl. I’m at the park with Damian.”

The other end of the line gets quiet and tense up. Did I say something wrong? Is he gonna insult Damian again?

I'll punch him if he even tries.

“I want you home now. It's getting dark.”

“No its not, there is still plenty of l-”

“Janis. Now.” 

I flinch a little. I didn’t mean too, I guess a loud voice in your ear does that, but Damian picked up on it. He tilts his head and looks like he has a lot to say, but he doesn't voice it.

I hang up on Dad without even saying goodbye. I shouldn't have to leave this early, my house is right across the street from the park, and me and Damian have spent many sunsets here before. The sky has no color other than blue, and it's not dark in the slightest.

I sigh. “You heard the man, I’m needed elsewhere.”

Damian laughs, but it's tense. “You’re so popular you're going to need to start a booking schedule.” He’s trying to make light of the slightly awkward phone call, so I smile and play along.

“Sorry Ma’am, I’m booked from now till the end of the year by Damian Hubbard, try again when I turn twenty.”

Damian laughs. “Yeah, maybe it's not the best idea.”

I kiss Damian on the cheek before getting up. “Make it home safe dork.”

Damian touches his cheek dramatically. “A farewell smooch, that's a new one.”

“Don’t make me regret it. Text me once you’re home.”

“Only if you do the same.”

I smile. “Love you.”

“I love you more.”

**AUGUST- DAMIAN- TW: D-SLUR, ABUSE (mention, not described)**

I glared at Janis phone, like it was the cause of her pain. Janis had been acting weird all summer, and I think I finally knew why. She was in my bathroom taking a shower and her phone had started pining. So naturally I opened it and read the messages. 

_ What? She knew this would happen when she let me put my finger print in. Besides, who would text her seven times in a row besides me. _

A drunk past the point of wasted father I guess. I don’t actually know if he's drunk, but his lack of texting skills sure indicates so. No wonder she wanted to come over at the last minute.

**Dad:** no daughet of mine

**Dad:** dyke

**Dad:** iwas ojay with is when it was just a rumor by regina

**Dad:** i donr know jow your mother still lovesyou

**Dad:** dyke

**Dad:** dyke

**Dad:** dtke

The rest of the messages all shared a similar message. A very clear one. 

“Damian?” I look up to see Janis standing there. She’s wearing pajama shorts and one of my old t-shirts and she's practically swimming in the fabric. “You look like you wanna kill someone.” Her eyes land on the device in my hand. “Is that my phone?”

“How long has he been saying stuff like this to you?”

“Who?” Janis asks, but I can see realization click in her eyes. 

“Janis.” I try to keep my voice strong, but seeing the way she shrunk back a bit broke me. “I’m not going to yell at you.”

“I know.” Janis said softly. “Just habit I guess. “

_ Well that answer is not much better. _

“How long?”

“Beginning Of the summer.” Janis mumbled.

I suck in a breath. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I felt bad. I didn’t wanna seem like I was complaining. At least I still have a dad!”

I shook my head. “C’mere babe.”

Janis trudged over sitting on the bed next to me and resting her head on my shoulder. 

“You can talk to me no matter what. What you’re dad is saying isn't okay in the least. You’re allowed to be hurt too.”

“I know.” Janis said softly. “I still feel bad though.”

“And that's okay too.” 

She just hums in response. Her phone is still pinging, but neither of us reach to check it.

“Does your mom know?”

“To an extent.” Janis says simply. “He implies a lot when she's around. He’s only openly homophobic when we’re alone or while texting.

“You should tell her.” I say.

Janis shook her head. “I’m scared too. He’ll find out.”

A realization struck me. “Does he hurt you?”

Janis mumbled something into my shoulder but I couldn't understand.

“Janis.”

“Only when he’s drunk.”

“That's why you came over.”

“It's not the only reason. I wanted to see you too.”

I shake my head. Janis admitted that it hurt my heart so bad I could feel it physically. I wrapped my arm around her to pull her into a proper hug.

“Promise me you’ll talk to you mom about it? I can be there if it makes you feel better.”

“Please?”

“Of course”


	7. SOPHMORE YEAR; SEMESTER ONE

_ “Sophmore year was….livable” _

_ “Nothing particularly interesting happened, I won my first art show.” _

_ “Nothing particularly interesting basically translates into nothing traumatic occurring, Cady.” _

_ “I figured as much.” _

**SEPTEMBER- JANIS**

Dad went to therapy. He stopped drinking alcohol. He got better. Or at least he tried. I could tell he was trying more for Mom then for me, but he tried. 

I still spent a lot of time at Damian’s, Ms. Hubbard was slowly becoming a second mom. Right now, I was standing in front of Dmian’s closet as he checked to make sure he had everything for tomorrow. Ever since that one night last year, school night sleepovers became a new normal, and tonight was no exception. Half of my closet was Damian’s at this point with the same in his closet. I flipped through the shirts I had left here trying to find the one specific one I couldn’t find at my house. I finally found it in the very back, hanging halfway off the hanger.

“Are you ready for this year?” I ask watching Damian check his bag for the eight time.

“No.” He said, but I already knew that was the answer. 

“Whats up.” I ask, walking over to his bed where he sat going through his bag.

He sighs. “Nothing is wrong, but nothing is totally great either. I’m just worried, we don't have every class together this year anymore. What if something happens?”

“Damian,” I laugh a little, but it's not at him, just the general situation. ‘We have two classes without each other. And one of those is art and study hall, just like last year. We can spend the period together again.”

Damian nodded. “I guess.”

“Hey, we’ll be fine.” I say. I don't sound very reassuring but I’m trying. What more can you expect from me.

“You’re right.” Damian nods. “I guess I just got a little nervous. Between the end of last year and this summer, everything had just been a huge mess.”

“But we still have each other.” I remind him.

“We do.”

**OCTOBER- DAMIAN**

Is two years long enough to consider something a tradition? 

I say it counts.

Anyway,

I was sitting in Janis' basement for our annual halloween movie night. It's a tradition at this point. 

The movie was coming to an end and I could tell Janis was getting a bit tired. She had her head on my shoulder and had let out four yawns in a row at this point.

“You tired?” I ask already knowing the answer she’ll give  _ and _ the actual answer. 

“No.” She lies. It isn't very convincing as she lets out another soft yawn.

“Mhmm.” I say, but I just turn my attention back to the movie. She’ll be out in like five minutes. Never ask Janis how a movie ends. She always falls asleep right after the climax. 

Sure enough, I feel her slump forward slightly and Janis is out like a light. 

I turn off the movie and move the popcorn bowl from her lap. Janis isn't a light sleeper but I’m careful anyway because if she walked up after falling asleep, she’ll just be all the more determined to stay awake. I scoop my arms under her and lift her up. For her height, it is surprisingly easy.

After so much practice of crying Janis to bed after movie nights, it's not hard to maneuver up the stairs and creep quietly to her room. 

I dump Janis on her bed softly and she doesn't react. I consider the transfer a success. I go back downstairs to grab the forgotten popcorn quickly before going back to Janis’s room. 

We can finish the movie another night.

**DECEMBER- JANIS**

I’m sitting alone in the art room with Damian before school as my name is said over the announcements. I still can't believe I won in the art show. Sure, I’ve gotten tons of third place even some seconds, but first place? Wow. 

Damian grins at me as the announcements move on to bigger things. 

“So, what's the date for it?”

“January 18th.”

“You bet I’ll be there.” He says.

“My number one fan.” I say. It comes out like a joke, but there really isn't anyone I would rather have by my side supporting me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter because if its fluff I dont know how to drag it out


	8. SOPHMORE YEAR; SEMESTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entire fandom: wow I love janis....lets ruin her life
> 
> I'm no exception

_ “The second half of Sophomore year was actually kinda boring.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Yeah, I had Damian, but a sketch book, and my bullies. Just another typical day.” _

_ “Bullies? I know Regina like, ruin your life, but bullies?” _

_ “Bullies.” _

**FEBRUARY- DAMIAN**

It's another sleepover at my house at night. Janis’ mom wasn’t in town and her dad still wasn't fully over his daughter being a lesbian. I personally think you just gotta cut out the toxic people in your life, but I’m sure Ms. Sarkisian has her reasons to stay.

Janis was sitting on my bed lost in doodles. Her sketch pad was practically the equivalent to a diary, and I know she just needed time to get out her feelings for the day. 

I hummed no particular tune and started my homework I got and left Janis to do her thing. 

The sound of her pencil making marks on the paper filled my room as a sort of white noise as I began my geometry work. 

It's only when I hear the noises get more aggressive that I turn around to look at her. She was drawing harshly into the paper with tears in her eyes.

“Hey, Janis?”

His head snaps up from the work she was doing.

“Wanna talk about it?” I say as she wipes her eyes and looks at the drawing she's making.

“Not really.”

“Want a hug?”

She nods softly and gets up to walk over to me. I meet her halfway (which is like half a step in my tiny room) and pull her into an embrace. She hugs back, holding me tighter than I initially expected. Like she was scared I’d slip away and leave.

I bring my hand up to her head and hold her tighter. I can feel tears wetting my shirt, but she isn’t making any noise, just shaking with a silent cry occasionally.

I  _ know _ Janis didn’t wanna talk about it, but something somebody said clearly messed her up bad. 

I contemplated looking at her sketchbook but as aforementioned, it was a diary equivalent, and I wouldn't look through someone's diary no matter how close we were.

After a while of standing there, Janis' grip on me listened and she stepped back a bit.

“I’m s-”

“Don’t you even think of apologizing to Janis Veronica Sarkisian.”

Janis smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Right.”

**MARCH- JANIS- TW: D-SLUR (but janis says it herself it's not like somebody using it as an insult but ! )**

I hate that I let them get to me. 

I should have stopped letting them affect me in middle school.

I hate that I used to  _ be _ one of them. I used to join them in their bullying. Not that I liked bullying, but in order to be plastic, you gotta do shit you don’t like.

I guess it's karma. 

Where’s the plastics karma then? Huh?

I had to change the notifications in my phone to only let them through from Damian and my mom. I don't know how they got my number. I guess Gretchen really does know everything about everyone. 

I couldn't tell people that the harassment was picking up again. I’d be taken out of school for the year again, and maybe I wouldn't go back. I couldn’t leave Damian. 

Besides, they were just text messages, I could get over it.

I think.

My phone pinged again, yet a new unknown number sent by Regina to message me. I glance hastily at the message before blocking the number.

I really shouldn’t look at the messages. 

I can’t stop myself though.

Damian only hangs out with you for pity

The space dyke comments I can handle. These ones hurt the most. Deep down, I know there is some level of truth to them. Why else would anyone willingly stick around me. Damian and I had a mutual need for each other's comfort. If he didn’t need me, would he stick around?

Probably not.

**APRIL- DAMIAN**

Janis acting weird for a couple days is something I can stay quiet about. She didn’t wanna talk, and that's fine. 

But it's been months. 

She’s been distant, coming over less and less. She normally avoids my attempts at making plans, and when she does confirm, Janis backs out at the last minute. 

It's frustrating.

Not the making plans part, the fact that I  _ know _ something is wrong and she wont open up. 

So here I was, taking matters into my own hands. I walked up the steps to Janis' house and knocked on the door. Ms. Sarkisian opened the door and smiled.

“Damian! Long time no see!”

“Hi, Ms. Sarkiskian. Is Janis home? I think her phone died and she won't respond to my messages.” I say.

“Oh of course, she's up in her room.” Janis’ mom pulled open the door to let me inside. 

“Thank you!” I say before bounding up the stairs to Janis’ bedroom. Her door was open and she was facing me but looking down at a painting she was working on. I knocked lightly on the doorframe and Janis looked up.

“Damian?”

“Thats me. You weren’t answering your messages.”

“Oh.” Janis said. 

I noticed her phone was buzzing over and over again.

“I think it's got lost in the flow of them all.” She mumbled, chewing the end of her paintbrush nervously. She picked up her phone. “I’m sorry, I didn't see it.”

“It's okay.” I say, stepping into the room. “Who else is texting you so often?”

“Unknown numbers, I don't look at the messages.” Janis said. I could tell she was trying to be vague, this was probably the thing she was hiding from me. 

“Janis,” I walk over to her. “Whats going on?”

She sighed putting down her paintbrush and walking over to her bed to sit. I follow, watching her turn her phone over in her hands a couple times.

“It's stupid.”

“If it's getting to you this much, I guarantee it isn't.”

“No, it is. And I know it is.”

“What is it?”

Janis sighed, putting her head on my shoulder. “Regina got my new number. She's been getting people to send me messages and it's gotten to a point where there are too many to block. I think the whole school has sent at  _ least _ one.”

“Janis,” I start. “First off, totally not stupid. Second, why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn’t wanna worry you, or be a burden.” She said. “And if my parents found out Regina still messed with me this much, they might take me out of school again, or switch schools. I don't want that.”

I take the  _ still buzzing _ phone out of Janis' hand and mute it.

“You could never be a burden on love.” I say simply. Because I don't know what else  _ to _ say. Jnais has a point. If she tells her parents, there's no saying how it could go down. “And about the worrying part, I’d do that if everything was okay and there wasn't a single thing wrong with the world. But there are  _ a lot _ of things wrong with the world. And it's okay not to be okay. Okay?”

“You sound like a broken record.” Janis mumbles.

“You don’t seem to get the memo, dear.”

“Sor-”

“Don’t say it.”

“Okay.”


	9. SUMMER BEFORE JUNIOR YEAR

_ “The summer before junior year. Ah yes, before it all went down.” _

_ “I’m scared for your junior year story.” _

_ “Cady, you already know most of it.” _

_ “Yeah that's true.” _

_ “We aren’t there yet! I’ll start the summer.” _

**JUNE- DAMIAN**

Janis got a new phone number  _ and _ her parents didn't switch her out of northshore. So I considered it a success. Regina stopped bothering Janis from the rest of the year, and we went on with normal lives. I was currently sitting in Janis' room in front of a fan that was blowing onto her bed. It was a bazillion degrees out and her ac was broken. 

“I can’t believe we’re officially upperclassmen!” I cheer, listening to how robotic my voice sounds though the fan.

Janis grins. “Yeah. I’m proud of us. We weren’t dealt the easiest card to survive though.”

“Not one bit.” I agree, leaning back from the fan. “But hey, this summer, my house, for weeks on end. Dont gotta worry about your dad or a broken ac, just me and you and some bootlegs.” i say, remembering why we’re here. “Pack up.”

Janis’ mom agreed to let Janis stay primarily at my house this summer. She still fully didn't trust her husband, rightfully so, and after everything that happened with Regina, her mom just felt it better to stay with me.

“It's about time we top off the summer of 2016.” Janis jokes, shoving clothes into bags as I pack up her art stuff. No doubt she’ll need it.

“I don’t think _ anyone _ can top off the summer of ‘sixteen.” I point out. 

“We can sure as hell try.”

**JULY- JANIS**

And we did try. Well, we were still actively trying, it was only July still. Mom and Dad had joined Domain, Ms. Hubbard, and I for a fourth of July get together. Damian and I were currently roasting marshmallows without a care in the world while the adults talked. 

Damian quickly tried to blow out his marshmallow as it caught fire. I laughed and continued roasting my perfectly brown one. 

“Yeah yeah, yuck it up Sarkisian.” Damian says trying (and failing) to seem mad.

“Oh trust me,” I giggle. “I am.”

Fireworks begin to go off across the street and Damian and I look up in the sky to watch them. They were so pretty, the way the colors exploded in bright booms of light and-

“Janis your marshmallow.”

“Oh shit!” I looked down to see my marshmallow had caught on fire as well.

“Look who's laughing now.” Damian says. “It's not you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short update bc I can't wait to start writing the plot line of mean girls from Janis and Damian's perspective


	10. JUNIOR YEAR; SEMESTER ONE

_ “Junior year.” _

_ “You ready for this one Cady?” _

_ “Uh….no.” _

_ “Wong anser, let's begin!” _

**SEPTEMBER- JANIS**

Damian and I saw the new girl  _ many _ times before lunch. I personally, wanted nothing to do with her. She was cute, like your stereotypical white girl. Damian on the other hand, insisted she needed our assistance. Her name was Cady Heron, the girl from Africa. But third period her name was circling around the school 

_ She's been homeschooled all her life. _

_ She’s cuter than Regina _

_ I’d let her hit that _

_ She's already been asked out by four guys _

I was no stranger to North Shore rumors, so I knew these were to be taken with a grain of salt, but Damain found a valid source (aka Ms. Norbury) saying Ms. Africa had in fact been homeschooled her whole life. So here we were, sneaking into the girls bathroom instead of eating lunch.

“You’ve been in there for a very long time, you're either doing drugs or constipated from doing drugs!”

_ “You know the rest _ . _ ” _

**OCTOBER- DAMIAN**

Cady was an interesting addition to our group. Not in a bad way, it had just been Janis and I for so long, to have another person felt strange.

Cady was so sweet though. 

I could tell Jnais was scared Cady would find out about her past. Everytime I try to tell Cady, Janis shoots down the topic and gives me a look.

Which, fine, I understand. 

But I feel like Cady has the right to know! But I also know its Janis story that led to years of trauma. She is my priority. Not a new girl. 

_ Sorry Cady _ . 

It was our animal halloween movie night, and of course, Janis was starting to lean heavily into my side as I wrapped my arm around her, The music got intense, building up for a jumpscare. I tensed up, but Janis being half asleep was unaffected. Just as the jump scare happens, somebody dressed up bursts into Janis' basement. 

I (unproudly) let out a girly scream, waking up Janis, who just screams for the hell of it.

“She took him back. Regina took him back!” The person crys. My mind was still reeling, but Jnais jumped up. 

“Oh Cady,”

_ Oh shit thats Cady. Wouldn't have known about her costume. _

“Of course she took her back, Regina Geroge is a lying blood sucking no good biatch.” Janis said, pulling Cady into a hug.

I was proud of her, for openly showing affection to no only somebody other than me or family, but another girl no less. 

“What did Regina ever do to you?” Cady asked. 

Janis stepped back, ready to shut out everyone again, like she did whenever Cayd asked.

“When we were in idle scho-”

“Damian, no.”

“No, Janis. Cady is our friend. I’m gonna tell her.” I put my hand on her shoulder. I had phrased it like a statement, but as I looked at Janis, I knew she had figured out I was waiting for her permission.

She sighed and nodded glumly, looking away.

“When we were in middle school, Regina had a pool party. She invited everyone in the school, except for Janis….”

**DECEMBER- JANIS**

Who knew Ms. Africa had such spunk. This girl was ready to take down Regina from the beginning, and after learning what the plastics did to me, Cady was all the more motivated. Regina had wronged up both, and Damian was along for the ride. 

I also had to thank him for being right about Cady the whole time. My backstory did not change her view on me at all. 

Right now, we were in the art room, waiting for Cady as my names played over the speakers. It felt like deja vu as pride flushed through me as I Was announced for winning the art show. Damian clapped and I did a mini bow, earning a chuckle from a couple of the other students in the room. 

The art room was the only place where I felt safe in school. After my first place prize last year, many others have been quick to follow. I had earned a level or respect within the art students. It wasn’t power out of fear like when i was friends with Regina. It was power because I had earned it.

It felt nice. 

I almost didn’t hear the spring queen announcements. The spring fling was never a thing I was big about. Besides, why make the announcements now? It was the week before winter break, the spring fling wasn’t until April, but okay.

“Guys! Did you do that?” Cady asks barreling into the art room. “I was nominated! Damian, did you mess with the ballots?”

Damian puts his hand to his chest in offence. “Cady, I would never.”

“So I’m really nominated?!”

“Or maybe it's the russians.” I joke, but looking at Cady, I can totally see why people chose her. She's cute, and pretty, and now that she’s head plastic she dresses hot too. Oh god-  _ I’m gay for- _

No!

My mind rushes to change the subject, even though I was the only participant in the matter. “So Cady, you coming to my art show this weekend?”

“What art show?” She says. 

“Did you not hear the announcements? I want first place!” 

Damian lets out another cheer.

“Sorry Janis, I wish I could. Truly. My parents want me to go away with them for the weekend.”

I could almost feel my insides deflating, already feeling nowhere near as excited for the show.

“That's okay! I hope you have fun.” I say, ignoring the sympathetic glaces Damian throws me.

_ It's not that big of a deal, I swear.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the angstiest motherfucker ever. Also the final chapter. 
> 
> You ready?


	11. JUNIOR YEAR; SEMESTER TWO

_ “Y’know, I already know this part, we really don't have to-” _

_ “Nope, Cady. You fucked up and you get to know how we feel.” _

_ “I know I just-” _

_ “Lets begin!” _

**JANUARY- JANIS- D-slr (cuz its canon)**

The art show was a blast. I mean, yeah, Cady not being there was sucky, but there  _ was _ only room for two on the jazzy. 

I waved gobody to my parents as Damian made sure the painting of us was secure in the front basket. Not that the jazzy went fast enough to knock out the painting.

“You ready. Love?” Damian asked.

“Yeah.” I grin. 

Because it was jazzy and not a proper car, we had to take back roads. Not that I minded. I scrolled through my phone while clutching onto Damian. It was late, but we had enough time to make it back to Damian’s. I saw a lot of notifications from instagram, so I opened the app. I had posted my blue ribbon and the few people that followed my account were congratulating me. 

I actually had quite an online following, but nobody from northshore checked out my page unless it was to leave a space dyke comment.

I replied to some of the comments and moved onto my timeline. There was a party going on, which was strange. 

From being plastic in middle school, I knew, you  _ never  _ throw a party without the queen bee. But Cady was out of it- that's Cady’s house.

“Damian?” I say. My voice shakes a little unintentionally, but he picks up on it.

“Whats up, hon?”

“Can we pass by Caddy's on the way home?”

“We might miss curfew then, and she isn't home.” Damian's ays, but he changes the route anyway.

“I don't think she actually had anything with her parents.” I say bitterly. 

We can hear the base of a pop song in the distance, and that's definitely a house party.

I can feel Dmaian grow stiff as we realize which house the music is coming from.

I’m about to tell Damian to just drive past and drop it but I see Cady run out of the house after someone.

She turns around to go back inside but sees us and I can hear her curse under her breath. 

“You dirty little liar.” I say hopping off the jazzy.

“Janis we have a curfew.” Damian reminds me.

“You said you’d be out of town Cady!” 

“Something came up!”

“If you didn’t wanna go to my art show you could have just said so. But you went behind my back and  _ lied _ .”

“You wouldn't even like this party, Janis! I couldn’t invite you because I have to pretend I don't know you!”

“ _ Janis _ .” Damian drives past me. “I can’t stop this jazzy.” 

_ Curfew, yeah whatever. _

“No, Cady! You're the head plastic now, you could change the social hierarchy, you just don't want to!”

“Janis i can't spend every second with you, it's not my fault you’re in love with me!”

The world stops. 

Or at least the jazzy does.

“Oh no she didn’t” Damian says. There’s a forighn edge to his voice. Curfew be damned, Damian backed up the jazzy so he’s next to me.

There are so many things I want to say right now, so many things I  _ could _ say right now, but all that's echoing through my head is  _ space dyke _ over and over.

I laugh, but it's bitter. There's a metallic taste in my mouth where I bit my tongue. “See, that's the  _ thing _ with your  _ plastics. _ You think everyone is in love with you, when actually everyone just hates you!”

To be honest, the look of hurt on Cady’s face almost made me feel bad, as I took a step back. 

“You made me like this, it was your idea for me to pretend to be plastic!”

_ Are you kidding me _ .

I looked Cady up and down, the dress, the shoes, the hair, none of that was fake. It was cold hard  _ plastic _ .

“Buddy it's not pretend, you are as plastic as they come, you think your shit don't stink, you think the rest of us,” I motion to me and Damian, where he sat on the jazzy ready to jump in and pull us apart if it got violent. I planned on walking away before I could reach that though. “Are dumb. I hate Regina’s  _ guts _ . But here's what you don't comprehend, at least she has the guts, to not  _ pretend to be my friend! _ ”

I was shaking at this point. I felt ready to break down and sob, but there were some additional things I wanted to say first. 

I walk over to the front of the jazzy and grab the painting. Damian looks ready to stop me but when we make eye contact I can tell he knows I’m fully awar throwing my first place painting at yet another homophobic best friend is stupid as fuck, but I do it away.

“Here take it. It won a prize.”

Cady looks at the painting and I can  _ see _ the realization in her eyes, but I’m leaving already.

“Janis-”

“No, it's  _ fine _ .” I throw over my shoulder before joining Domain back on the jazzy.

We won't be making curfew.

**FEBRUARY- DAMIAN**

We ignored Cady’s calls. And her attempts to talk with us in school. Not that that was often. A true plastic has gotta keep up appearances I guess. 

One day, Janis found her painting tucked into her locker. There was no note or apology. Janis just shoved it into a box with her other old art when she got home. 

This time around was arguably worse than middle school. Yeah, in middle school the whole school knew and everyone was outright with their insults. Cady was everyone. She was a friend. And she kept her insults bottled up until they would hurt most. 

Janis and I were currently in her house. Janis had fallen asleep on my arm during a movie, and even as the credits rolled, I did not attempt to move. 

Her phone started buzzing on the table so I checked for Janis.

It's Cady.

I scowl and silence the phone. 

It rings two, three, four more times. It's quiet for a bit before  _ my _ phone begins ringing. 

“Jesus.” I mumble, shifting away from Janis and getting up. 

I scoop up my phone and walk into the bathroom before picking up.

“What.”

“Oh my god, Damian thank you for picking up.”

“Didn’t want to.” I say. Cady sounds drunk. And being drunk makes people so much more honest. This’ll be interesting. To be honest that's probably the only reason I didn’t hang up. 

“You and Janis have been avoiding me.” Cady says bluntly. I think I can hear her take a gulp of something in the background. This girl is wasted-

“Have we? I didn’t notice.” My voice is an odd cold I dont think ive ever used before. 

“I know I fucked up with  _ Janis _ . But why don't you like me?”

She sounds like a middle school girl who needs everyone's validation.

“Do,” I almost laughed. “Wait, you think I’d choose you over Janis?”

“I’m me.” Cady says. She giggles a bit from the other line.  _ Jesus christ why and I on the phone with a wasted white bitch. _

“Yeah, you’re you. That's the issue.”

“Damian-”

“You weren't there to see Janis in middle school. How much it hurt her. You didn't get to see the rebuilding she had to do, just to be stable again. But we told you. Janis trusted you with everything she hates about her past and you threw it in her face. Yeah, you didn't see how absolutely broken she looked, sitting in the bathroom the day space syke was written on her locker. But you still knew. You should have to visualize it to know how bad it was. All the nights I had to help Janis through. And you knew! Janis being a lesbian was the lowest blow you could think of in the monet and thats  _ gross. _ So yeah. Of  _ course _ I chose Janis over you. And I do it again in a heartbeat.” 

“Domain…”

“Maybe we can talk more when you’re sober.” 

With that I hung up, and made my way back to Janis’ bedroom. She was still peacefully asleep, having no clue of the conversation I just had. 

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” I whisper, to no one in particular. 

**APRIL- JANIS**

Wow did things go to shit. Regina Geroge got hit by a  _ bus _ . Cady got banned from the spring fling- wait then why is Cady here? 

“Did you talk to her yet?” Damian asked, bring me out of my inner turmoil. 

“No, because I’d have to admit I did things wrong too.”

Damian pulled me into a hug and I heard somebody call my name.

“Janis, can we talk?”

“No, I’m busy making out with my date.” I say getting on my tippy toes.

“Oh my god Janis, no.” Damian fusses, pushing me away.”

_ “Well, you remember the end of the spring fling.” _

_ “Yeah. And I know my speech didn't make up for anything but-” _

_ “Hold on there, Africa. Damian and I aren't done yet.” _

**JUNE- JANIS**

Cady worked on being better. Which was something Regina didn’t do, so I gave her a chance. (After talking thoroughly with Damian about it first.) Plastic code might be asking your friends before you buy something, but art freak code is asking your soulmate before you trust back stabbing bitches. 

Write that one down.

I was currently sitting in my basement with Damian, where the revenge party happened at that time ago.

We were waiting for Cady to come over so we can all hang out.

Theres a knock at the door that leads into my basement from the outside. 

I look at Damian with a girl. “It's open!”

“I have a important question.” Cady says walking into the room, getting right to business.

“Shoot, Africa.” I say.

“You know, after everything we have been though, I still don’t know much about your past. Like how two absolute soulmates got to becoming such good friends.”

“It's quite the long story my dear, eight grade though eleventh grade? It's a wild ride. Are you sure you’re down? I mean, me and Janis will gladly narrate it, I mean we did such a good job telling your story.”

“There are some things even I wish I didn't know about me. Can we not?”

“Come on Janis it will be fun! Like memory lane! We can share our story with our lovely Cady!”

“Something tells me I will very much regret this.”

“Pleaseee Janis? I wanna know!”

“Alright then. Damian, get the snacks and Candy, buckles up. It's a long ride but I’ll start.”

_ “You know what happens next.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin.


End file.
